Holy Shift!

So its been a seriously long time since i have done anything with this blog. So here goes,

I have been working at petco. Have transfered even since the last time i was on here. Things are going well in that department. I will be starting training soon i think. At least we have been talking about it. Maybe....Someday.... People at work are nice although they yell... a lot. Im working on making new friends and being self sufficient. It's a pretty lonely life if you ask me. Maybe i just dont understand it right or something. Things between Kirk and me arent the greatest. Could be way better. Dont know if they will get back to there but i very much hope so. People keep telling myself that i dont need to set myself up for the disappointment but i like to think that maybe we can work this out and keep our marriage together. The whole situation has pretty much consumed my life for the past month, month +1/2. We have some great times, some good times, but most of the time i feel like he is just playing fake. I really need someone i can talk to about this. I dont really have anyone to talk to who isnt tired or hearing about it or tells me that i need counseling. I dont mind going to counseling, its just crazy expensive. Maybe i need a journal or something. I know i need some project that has absolutley nothing to do with him...but what?

Anyways, that topic is depressing. I'm afraid its ant season again. I just found a couple on that counter. Time to get out the bug spray and yard spikes! what joy! Maybe we can teach the dogs to be ant killing machines. hmm... maybe a nap is in order. seems like all i do is sleep now a days. allwell. at least when im asleep it doesnt hurt so much.

Light at the end of the tunnel???

Well, Things are getting better. Kirk has a job. I have 2 jobs. And we are looking at getting our own place up here. Gonna take some getting used to but i think things will be good again. Missing my puppy a lot. I understand that he had to go though. Just wish that he hadnt. I am currently getting ready for work. Im supposed to leave in like 10 minutes, but allwell. there's always time for a blog! lol. Kirk's job is Toys r Us and he says that he likes it so far. He goes in at 6am a couple of days next week. poor darling. My earliest is 8. I'm just trying to make it through the day. Im not very good at it as i am so soft hearted. I guess ill just have to suck it up and deal with the mean coworkers. ^_^ the dogs are wonderful though and i get to see so many of them. All breeds and sizes. I love that part.

So after a long and aggonising wait, Tuesday we will know something about the unemployment. They called yesterday and said that we should def know something by Tuesday. WA-FN-Hooooooo!!!!! It's about time. So hopefully everything will go well and we will be able to pay everyone back and pay things off and all the such. I am excited. Kirk and I both agreed that this has been the roughest thing we have been through together. We also both agreed that when we do get money we are going to spend just a little bit on something fun for both of us. Almost 8 weeks without any income is killer!

Anyways! So other than that nothing new is going on. I have still to finish the blanket that i am doing for Sam. I am half way through and I have until about Aug 14th. I should get it finished. took a break to play games with Kirk. All well. So yeah gonna get on that blanket now. lol.

revelation

So i just got on my facebook and found out that i have been unfriended. How wonderful! How petty can someone be? Really? Does this person think unfriending me is gonna make me sad or feel bad? Come on?!

R&R

Hello everyone! Today is a good day. We are getting things started. Got a lot of paper work finished and hopefully things will be getting on the roll here soon. Took all morning but hopefully things will be looking up. We should know the result of this morning's efforts in a couple days. Really hoping to know by the weekend so that we dont have to wait until monday. Brandon's dad will be back on Sunday too so our normal schedule of hanging out with our friends should be back on track. I am currently looking at a rediculously large crocheting chart thinking "what did i get myself into?". lol. unfortunately that happens a lot. lol. Allwell. Hopefully it will look nice by the time im finished and she will like it. I have 2 months to finish it. If i dont get it finished by then i need to be shot. It never takes me that long to finish a project. The remaining puppies are just laying around. Theyre all very cute. We sold estellise today. She is going to a family in hagerstown. and older couple who wanted a little doggie. Abbadon is laying at my feet. Ragnar is watching Kirk's every move as he plays games. Nicias is curled up in a blanket. and Vizzini, stacey's puppy, is playing cat on the arm of the chair. But that's just a small update of what's going on. I'm gonna get off of here and get to the crocheting. ^_^

p.s. thanks gma for the flower pot. my cactus looks a lot better!

Silver lining

So thanks every one for the well wishes! Things are looking up. I'm getting things back in order and my life is back on that path that i want it to be. Gonna take some time. I'm hoping that it doesnt take too long. my friends had to wait for 3 years. haha! I would go crazy by then!

But about the job situation, keep your fingers crossed! Hopefully we will find something soon. Walmart here went to being open to midnight so hopefully they will be calling us.

Estellise is for sale if anyone wants her! $100. she's almost a year, spayed, has shots, about 7lbs, and good with other dogs. spread the word too!!!

Like Dust in the Wind...

So everyone in the world has dreams. I've had my share. I thought my dream was to be a chef. I went to a culinary vocational and found that i didnt want to do that as a proffesion. Now not only do i not want to do it as a proffesion, I dont even want to cook for my husband. So i went to school for a cna, thought i could follow my grandma and be a nurse. I wasnt any good at that either. I made it through the classes, got my license, but couldnt find a job. Home health was it and i failed at it. So i went to college for an rn. Thought maybe i could work in a hospital or something. Flunked out. Failed. Then i thought i could be a pet groomer...Found out that i cant get a loan to go to school. Im not good enough for a loan. Now my latest dream........something i've only told a couple people.....and its gone....just gone.....Nothing i've done in my life has been good enough. I cant seem to succeed at anything i've set out to do. I'm doomed to fall into the same path as my mother. I dont wanna be there, but i can only fail so many times before i just dont wanna try anymore. My fight has been taken from me. I no longer want to get out of bed in the morning. There's no reason to. I can only fail so many times before i give up.